"Christian pharisee"?

Someone mentioned that describing myself as a "christian pharisee" was a bit scary. I suppose it is! Although it's a bit tongue in cheek, I thought I'd explain what I mean. I was born and brought up in a loving christian home, and have been around church all my life. I made a committment to Christ at 7 years old and my teenage rebellion consisted of preaching in the school playground, such was my conviction of the truth. I'd read the Bible cover to cover several times when Eugene Peterson's "The Message" New Testament was published, but I think the freshness of that paraphrase challenged me to look again at the church culture that I took for granted and didn't see as in any way strange. I also looked again at the gospels and realised to my horror that the Biblical characters I identified with most weren't the disciples; or the "sinners" Jesus spent so much time with; nor Jesus himself. No I identified with the pharisees. They were the religious people of the day. They were zealous for God. They knew how God worked and how to please him. It was hard work and took a lot of dedication, but they were totally committed. They couldn't understand why Jesus wasted his time with those people who showed by their lifestyle that they weren't really interested in following God. All of a sudden, I realised that not only had I been there, done that and got the T-shirt - I'd been to the all night prayer meeting and signed up for the prayer newsletter too. Admitting to being a christian pharisee is a reminder that I need to repent of the same attitudes and actions of the pharisees that Jesus spoke so harshly against. By His grace I'll become more like Jesus and less like Caiaphas. I just want to be honest and say this is where I am, and that it's a daily struggle to find the grace and freedom for others that God has so abundantly shown to me. That's a very dangerous place to be, because if I won't forgive others - God won't forgive me.